That horrible baseball-stealing woman with the Suze Orman lipstick lesbian haircut — that square-assed old hag in white pants and a big bully belt who snatched away a baseball from a child, has finally been identified. Her name is Grennele Brashkowitz, and if you think she is the most hated wicked witch in the world, wait until you hear what she does for a living.
Baseball fans the world over have been wanting to know her identity ever since she snatched the ball away from the unidentified child to whom it was thrown by a Juan Miranda at Minute Maid Park in Houston.
“The announcer on TV said what I did was ‘beyond wrong’ but there is nothing wrong with a kid learning that life is about competition and learning to take the hard knocks,” Brashkowitz said from her home in New York City where she works as — get this — a child psychologist of all things.
“I was on a cross-country vacation with my life companion Judy, and we decided to go to a baseball game. I even bought a special outfit at Nordstrom — white shirt with white pants and a huge leather belt — I looked great and I deserved to be on TV. I deserved that ball too. That little kid will have a lot of chances in life. Sometimes she will screw up and sometimes she will succeed. That’s the way life goes for everybody. So get over it!”
Brashkowitz is now heading back to her native Quebec since she feels that her life has become unlivable since she snatched the ball from that poor little girl. She is being drummed out of her job and shunned in her community.
“I didn’t even know the kid was there. I didn’t even see her, but what difference should that make? I win! That is what I do! In the long run the kid will get on TV shows and whatever but I will always be seen as an evil woman with a big ugly belt. Yeah, that’s what the guy on the local news said about me. He said I had an ugly belt. Can you imagine saying that about a belt I bought for $99.00 and that was with 40% off. How could it be ugly?
“I can’t take it anymore in this f****g country and I don’t care what anyone thinks of me or my hair or how out of style they say I looked or that my ass was big and flat like they say. Yeah, let’s see you live with those kinds of insults and see how long you can take it. And all this because I beat out a little brat for a baseball. Give me a break!”
Grennele Brashskowitz is a child psychologist in private practice with four other clinicians. So far all of the staff has walked out and the partners are in the process of buying her out of the business. Strangely enough, according to her associate, Daneesh Pargrim PHd. she is beloved by her patients and has never had a blemish on her record.