Finally  — something horrifically newsworthy in the already bloodcurdling  sport of harness racing.  

But sadly,  a few horses had to die in agony and one semi-prominent racing personality had to pretty much lose her mind and cast herself in an all-too-real version of “SAW VII – The Silent Hoofbeats” for somebody in the real world to take notice.

Have you ever heard of a woman named Monica Thors?  

Odds are that you have not  because she belongs to the widely UNKNOWN and equally UNKNOWING harness racing community wherein she is now looked upon as the most evil horse abuser on the face of the earth.

It’s pretty hard to be the worst horse abuser in harness racing.  It’s like trying to be a Sumo wrestler with the world’s jiggliest man-boobs.  

Let’s start by explaining that HARNESS RACING — for the uninitiated – is the kind of horse racing where they have wheels and buggies and drivers instead of saddles and jockeys.

Yes, I know that I am vastly (and intentionally) over-simplifying any and all descriptions of this kind of horse racing because no matter how basic I make the description, virtually no one will know what the hell I am talking about, and I don’t feel like explaining anything more than to say that Monica Thors is a woman who is connected to horses in several ways — many of which are imagined or self-invented.

THIS IS WHAT SEEMS TO HAVE HAPPENED.

Beginning about three years ago, the buzz in and around the world of the trotting horse, was that  one Monica Thors — very well known in racing circles — was keeping a stable of horses who could not walk.  They could not walk because Monica — whose own feet seemed to have left the ground — had allegedly cut off their hooves with a dremel tool.

Should I end the story there?

I can’t — it’s too exciting and awful.  Would you drive right past Jayne Mansfield’s car wreck?

STOP RIGHT HERE FOR A MOMENT AND TAKE A DEEP BREATH IF YOU DECIDE TO GO ON.

Okay — so you are a thinking and rational human being, right?   And, because you are a thinking and rational being, you are immediately aware of the fact that this woman is probably insane and in need of serious mental help, right?   Good — because if your first reaction was to run over to New Jersey USA and cut off Monica’s feet, you are not qualified to read this blog.  You are, however, highly qualified to enter the world of the often misguided animal rights activist and harness racing overall because many of these individuals are unable to grasp the fact that this woman, in my opinion, has some serious mental illness.

Remember my rule — you are there to help the animal and not to crucify the abuser — especially if the alleged abuser is a certifiable mental case.

OKAY, SO THIS IS WHAT SEEMS TO HAVE HAPPENED.

Dremel, dremel, toil and trouble.

It was reported that Ms. Thors was keeping a very tidy stable of horses who — basically —  had no feet because she cut them off.

It is also alleged that Ms. Thors used a grinder or paring knife or electric dremel to file those hoofs into nothingness in an effort to cure a serious hoof disease that she is alleged to have intentionally caused.

And —  partially because of Ms. Thors’ penchant for whittling the hands (and feet) of time away —  some of the horses either died, or could not stand, or were held aloft by a sling which hung from the ceiling until they perished or were put down.

Information about how some of the horses met their death is currently not very clear and we can only hope that they were humanely destroyed.

Whichever the case, it’s safe to assume that the dead horses were far better off than the living.

The horses in question — and nobody really knows how many are, or were, involved in this mayhem — all suffered from a serious disease process of the foot called Laminitis — or in layman’s terms, they were “foundered.”

I’ll save you all the long and boring scientific explanations but sufficed to say that a horse with laminitis or founder is in grave danger and is usually in excruciating pain because their feet are falling off.   I know that is a very unscientific explanation, but basically that’s the gist of it.

The main bone inside walls of the hoof begins to rotate downwards due to the inflammation within the vascular structure of the hoof.  Gradually, as the bone rotates and the inflammation worsens, the hoof begins to fall off.

There are some effective treatments –medically and mechanically —  and sometimes the process of foundering stops on its own, but once the foundering has begun, the damage is mostly irreparable.   Many  foundered horses have to be put down in spite of dedicated medical intervention.

A horse founders or gets laminitis for several known reasons although the mechanism for why this happens is not fully understood.  What is understood, however, is that a human being can intentionally cause a horse to founder, and this seems to be what Ms Thors is being accused of doing.    The question is, why?  We’ll get to that in a moment.

One easy way to make a horse founder is to feed it too much and to deprive it of exercise.    This is what Monica Thors has been accused of doing.

Allegedly, Ms. Thors has fed her horses to the point where their obesity eventually led to founder or laminitis.

Then, for some unknown reason, she took the foundered horses and tried to heal them by using a dremel to carve away the damaged hooves.   This is a technique that is sometimes used by skilled blacksmiths and veterinarians.

I can only assume that Ms. Thors is not a trained blacksmith and I know for a fact that she is not a veterinarian, but she has, in my opinion, imagined herself to be a great healer and a pioneer in the treatment of laminitis.

It all boils down to the basic fact that Monica Thors has been observed and accused of intentionally causing her horses to founder and then coming to their rescue with her own haphazard cures. That seems to be the general idea of what’s going on in in the macabre world of Monica Thors.    Pretty crazy, eh?

Please allow me to again state that we are, after all, civilized beings and what I am describing does not sound like the behavior of a normal person. There is something not right — right?    Good.

 As long as we understand the basic fact that Ms. Thors could very well be mentally ill, we can continue like mature adults and not say things like, “Somebody should cut off her feet” or “She should die with her body hanging on a sling like her poor horses.”  

Yes, believe it or not, a lot of people in the harness racing business and in animal rescue and Facebook — the final frontier for every moron on the face of the earth — have said things like that.  

These are simpletons who live in a world full of puppies and kittens — a place where people never suffer from mental illness and everything is beautiful.  But then you some to that Rainbow Bridge.   I’m about to lose my temper so let’s move along. 

According to sources, Monica Thors — an immigrant from Sweden — arrived on the harness racing scene over 30 years ago and fashioned herself as a horsewoman and a horse photographer.  She seemed nice enough and very highly professional.   She even got herself married to one of harness racing’s most famous drivers, but over the years, in spite of her well-heeled connections, Monica started to get on everyone’s nerves.

“She was overly zealous about everything and very self-important and imposing and intrusive,” said one source.  

“She bought an expensive bunch of cameras and fashioned herself as the world’s greatest harness racing photographer.  It was like she totally invented herself and created an image.  It got to the point where everybody had to get Monica (Thors) to photograph their horses, but the thing was that she wasn’t really any better than anybody else and she charged a lot of money.  Some people got hip to her quick and I think she was gradually dismissed by most people as being a weirdo and an overall pain in the ass.”

The years went by and Monica Thors continued to do whatever it was that she imagined she could do.  You have to admire her work ethic.  She set out to be the most famous trotting horse photographer in the world and she kind of succeeded.

She did indeed photograph several harness racing champions and she was internationally known for her work at the Meadowlands Racetrack  — the leading harness racing track in North America.

Monica Thors even tried her hands at being a harness racing driver, but that’s a hard nut to crack for a woman in harness racing and that career went nowhere — but at least she tried, and for a few moments she had lured in a few investors.  They didn’t stick around for long and luckily they departed with their feet intact.

Seems like Ms Thors has tried everything.

Heck,  she’s even making a movie called “I AM A HARNESS  RACEHORSE” –

So now she is, on top of everything else, a producer-writer-creator – cinematographer – director  and publicist.   The movie even has its own trailer.   You can go over and watch it on YouTube.   Naturally there is no actual “movie” but there is a trailer.   A lot of producers make movies that way — so Ms. Thors has that pretty much nailed down.

While Ms. Thors’ invisible movie is in pre-production,  she is has embarked on other ventures because she is, after all.  an expert in just about everything.

Her most recent incidental sideline is working as a blacksmith who specializes in foundered horses.  The trouble with that is that a blacksmith’s job is essentially an art or a highly skilled sort of craftsmanship.   You just don’t hang up a shingle and proclaim yourself to be a blacksmith.  You’ll get found out real quick — so to speak.  The other troubling aspect to her burgeoning career as a laminitis expert is that she is accused of making the horses founder in the first place.  

Naturally, since the field of blacksmithing is held in such high regard, Ms. Thors had to become one — or at least describe herself as one — but only after the services of a masterful one were needed,  In my opinion she declared herself to be that master.  Pity the poor animals.

Allegedly, Monica Thors has declared herself to be an expert in so many things but her endless expertise has gotten out of hand — and that’s where the horror began and where it remains today.

Remember how we spoke earlier about laminitis and founder?  Well, aside from a veterinarian, a highly trained blacksmith is usually a foundered horse’s only other friend.  No foundered horse can find the road to recovery without a blacksmith who is trained to repair the foundered hoof or hooves in painstakingly slow stages.

Part of the process involves gradually removing pieces of the foot and allowing then to grow back.    It’s like repairing a quilt one small square at a time.  It can take months or years for a foundered horse to be returned to good health.

Ms. Thors, it is said,  does not seem to understand this, and because she has anointed herself as an expert in just about everything,  her barn became a house of horrors when she reinvented herself as a blacksmith who specializes in curing horses who have foundered.

LET ME EXPLAIN THE MESS

A horse’s hoof is essentially a big hunk of toenail.  It’s dead tissue that grows like a fingernail and every now and then it needs to be trimmed and shod.  This does not hurt the horse and it’s an essential part of competent and healthy horse care.

Deep within that big toenail of a hoof you will find living tissue — nerves — blood vessels — tendons — bone — and all the things you would find anywhere else in any living creature.   Rarely, a blacksmith might trim or pare a horse’s hoof just a teeny bit too much and he nicks the living part of the foot.

When a blacksmith accidentally does this, it is said that he has “quicked” the horse.  His knife has gone a little too deep and the horse feels a quick flicker of pain and there might be a spot of bright red blood — like a pin prick on your finger.

This is where we get the expression, “You cut me to the quick.”

Ordinary folks say it to mean that they have felt an unexpected twinge of pain or harm inflicted upon them.

A horse who has been “quicked” is in no danger and the problem resolves itself quickly.  Horses get quicked all the time, and a horse who has never been quicked has probably never been trimmed or shod.

Again, trimming and shoeing a horse in captivity is part of basic care of the animal.    If you don’t take care of a horse’s feet, you are not only neglecting the animal, you are gradually crippling it.   Don’t worry for now about what happens to horses in the wild.  That’s not the issue here.

Anyway, there is an old expression  that has been used by horsemen for centuries:  NO FOOT, NO HORSE.

This does old saying doesn’t seem to apply to Monica Thors.

She doesn’t just cut to the quick — she cuts to the bone.  I will not show you pictures of what she has done to horse’s hooves — you can look that up all by yourselves.    It’s gruesome.

Yes, it is true  that sometimes a skilled blacksmith can trim out dead hooves as part of the treatment, and it looks pretty gruesome, but in Ms. Thors’ case, and in my opinion, she doesn’t know what the hell she is doing.

I also believe that she doesn’t know what she is doing because there is something mentally wrong with her.  I am not a psychiatrist and I am not qualified to make any medical diagnosis of any illness, but it should be patently clear to anyone with an ounce of common sense that this woman needs help — big time.

HERE’S THE THING

There is a movement afoot — so to speak — to have the NJ SPCA haul away whatever horses Ms. Thors has left and for her family in Sweden to come and get her the mental help she seems to need.  The trouble is that it’s not an easy thing to do.

The horses belong to her and the NJ SPCA seems to be dragging their heels — just like Monica’s horses.   They don’t seem to have a leg to stand on — just like Monica’s horses.    They can’t throw their weight around — just like Monica’s horses.

Listen — It’s not easy to take away someone’s pets and it’s nearly impossible to get someone put in a mental health facility.  Ms. Thors is a highly intelligent woman and she puts forth a very good and authoritative persona.   People are easily charmed by her.

My fear is that the lynch mob who want her drawn and quartered are unaware of laws and logic.  The sick horses can be put out of their misery in an instant, but what happens then to Ms. Thors?     You don’t just show up at someone’s home with a net and a straight jacket and assume you can toss them into the loony bin.  If you think it’s that easy, you’re the nutty one.

I truly believe that if Ms. Thors were to arrive at her barn, in the state that I believe she is in, and finds her horses taken away, she will snap.    What will that mean?

Be careful what you wish for, folks.    You think this is ugly now?  Wait until you see what might happen next.  Every great act has an even greater encore, and this is one I don’t want to see.

We all know that desperate people often do desperate things.  Sometimes desperate people are simple minions in a desperate industry, and because that industry is quickly getting the go-by as public tastes rapidly change, the industry in question, as a whole,  has to resort to desperate measures.

MCWICKED:  THE STORY OF A GREAT HORSE AND A STUPID RULE THAT SOUNDS LIKE A GOOD RULE.

WRITTEN EXCLUSIVELY FOR THE DAMIEN ZONE BY:  David D. Mattia

The harness racing industry is one of these nouveau desperadoes, and the powers who work within the crypt from which harness racing is now running on some kind of demented remote control,  are taking stupidity and super-heroics to new heights.

They are inventing a crime against horses — a crime which does not exist — and then they punish people for committing this imagined crime so as to reinvent themselves as great purveyors of truth and justice and integrity.

NOTE:   If you could read the squiggly black line of harness racing hypocrisy on a Richter Scale, the needle on the paper would have recorded the sudden destruction of earth’s entire crust about 15 years ago.

Anyway, by inventing crimes against racing that sound like crimes against animals, they punish certain individuals  for these crimes with the strange hope that this imaginary transparency will bring back the $2.00 public — punters who have fled the grandstands faster than a Ferrari in the Chernobyl Auto Show.

The people who once filled the grandstands and looked upon harness racing as something incredibly interesting and entertaining, now behave as though the whole place has been infected with Ebola and enriched plutonium from Iran.

Strange how just a few days ago, three horses died and a few others had no feet upon which to walk, but no one within the officiating end of the harness racing industry said a word.  It took over a year for concerned civilians to get the  hoofless horses to safety.

Some of those horses would be really happy to have been “kicked” by Dave Miller instead of dremeled by…forget it…never mind.

The powers that be in harness racing are very non-crafty.  They’ll sit quietly by and watch all kinds of strange and terrible things happen to their industry, but let one driver drop a boot from a stirrup and  tickle an athletically gifted horse’s hock in an attempt to win and thereby ensure the integrity of the race, and all hell breaks loose.

EXAMPLE OF STUPIDITY AND HYPOCRISY

A few years ago a Mexican-American trainer was handed his walking papers because his horses won too frequently.  More recently, another trainer, probably from good old North American stock, wins pretty much every race and nobody says a word.

Let’s just say that the average trainer and harness racehorse owner who race at certain places in the USA are beholden to one puppeteer and they happily shrug their shoulders with the hope that they’ll pick up a second or third place finish.

The puppeteer even owns horses with the trainer who wins every race, but no one sees that as a conflict of interest — but don’t you dare let your boot brush against a horse’s hoof….EVER!

Remember in “GLEN OR GLENDA” when Bela Lugosi’s character shrieks,  “PULL  ZEE STRINGS!  PULL ZEE STRINGS!”   Try to keep that image in your head and enjoy the rest of this insane horror story. 

So — are the people who police harness racing  aware of the order in which they place their strange anxieties?  Probably not — because, again,  desperate people often do desperate things.

HERE IS WHAT HAPPENED – THE PLAYERS

There’s a great pacing horse named McWicked.  He is a champion 3-year-old who has done everything right.  He comes from a top stable where he is treated like a king.  When his reign on the track is over, McWicked will stand in stud — something that only happens to about .04% of males harness racehorses.

While in stud, McWicked’s  star-treatment will get bumped up a notch or two.  In other words, IT’S GOOD TO BE  THE KING.

Then there is a harness racing driver named David Miller — one of the greatest harness racing drivers of all time, and a guy who minds his own business and has somehow managed to avoid scandal in an industry where scandals grow as tall as Iowa corn.

David Miller has brought nothing but good to harness racing.  He has brought his quiet and unassuming demeanor, and his class, and his great skills at winning races.  That is what he is hired to do and that is what he does.   He racing colors are purple and white and his fans call him “Purple Jesus.”

HERE IS WHAT HAPPENED – THE NON INCIDENT.

Last Sunday,  David Miller, drove  McWicked to victory in a very prestigious  $301,650 stakes race at Dover Downs — a racetrack/casino in Delaware, USA.

McWicked won the race like a true champion — going the long, hard route to win  the race in a highly impressive time of 1:48.4  over the distance of one mile.

McWicked has won 21 of his 23 starts and his bank account now stands at  $1,472,000.

For less than two minutes work, Dave Miller, earned $7,541.    Not bad — but that’s why Dave Miller is a champ and why he deserves every cent he earns.

THE NON-CRIME – DAVID MILLER’S BRUTAL OFFENSE

As the horses hit the top of the stretch in the big race, and it looked like McWicked was really going to have to give it his all — and most horses never do — Dave Miller let his foot drop out of the stirrup and gently tap against the hock of McWicked.   Note that I did not use the word “allegedly” because David Miller admitted to doing this.

While the horses all around him were getting stung by whips, McWicked instead felt a weird thing touching his left hind leg.

For that moment, during the most decisive part of a horse race,  McWicked probably thought, “What the heck is that touching my leg?”   Being an animal who runs on instinct, McWicked hurried along a little.

Sadly, most horses grin and bear the sting of the whip and go nowhere, but tickle their leg with the tip of a boot and some of then will really take off — they give you that little extra UMPH — and sometimes that’s the difference between winning and losing.   To the bettor it’s the difference between cashing in a winning ticket or ripping it up and calling everybody a crook.

The bettors are there to win, and since McWicked was heavily backed by the bettors, it would have really sucked if he didn’t win.  In fact, if David Miller had intentionally tried NOT to win — and it could be proven — he could go to jail.

David Miller does not engage in stupid stuff like that.  He drives to win.  Sometimes he throws in a clunker or the horse he is driving isn’t up to snuff —  but that’s why it’s called horse racing.

In any case, it didn’t matter.   McWicked won the race easily — tickle or no tickle.

So what did David Miller do to McWicked that was so horrible?  

Well, for what it’s worth, David Miller let his boot drop out of the stirrup and tap against McWicked’s hock, and for some insane reason, this is viewed as the cruel violation known as — KICKING THE HORSE.

You might say, “But he didn’t kick the horse,” and you would be 100% correct.  

To kick the horse, Dave Miller would have had to stop the horse during the race, slide out of the sulky, walk up and stand beside the horse and KICK HIM.  Would that hurt the horse?   No, it would not.

David Miller, if he could kick hard enough, would probably just break his own foot were he to try this — and of course he would lose the race by about 1/2 mile because he stopped to get out of the sulky and literally kicked the horse.

So then why do they have this stupid rule and why is David Miller in trouble?  He didn’t hurt the horse in any way.   What’s the deal here?

Why was Dave MILLER issued his “STRIKE ONE” and fined $750.00?  Why was harness racing intentionally humiliating itself simply because a great horse and a great driver combined to put out a great performance for the few remaining fans who care? 

THE REASON FOR THE INSANITY

The deal is that once upon a time there was a driver named Walter who was alleged — and later proved to be for reasons unrelated to horses —  a really bad boy.

Not only was he a really bad boy,  he was perhaps the greatest harness racing driver to sit behind a trotting or pacing horse.   Part of his talent rested on the fact that he knew how to get a horse to put in a top effort just about every time.

Yes, he used a whip, but he wasn’t a brutal enforcer.  He was just a very gifted driver with a great pair of hands, a great sense of pace, and a keen knowledge of his equine and human opponents — but he was a bad boy otherwise.

Like so many extremely talented young people,  the bad boy had demons that  supposedly involved drugs and alcohol and the usual.   He got in trouble for those things and he served out his fines and suspensions — but you can’t have a guy like that around your racetrack, right?   Of course not.

In spite of it all, the bad boy was hanging tough and winning races and annoying the hell out of everybody who had an ax to grind.   He started getting fines and suspensions for kicking his horses.   Well — they had to get him on something, right?  Al Capone killed 10 people but he went to jail for income tax evasion.

So, as the really bad boy’s life went into a downward spiral, and the kicking offenses started to pile up. The really bad boy got in really bad trouble outside of the racing industry and was essentially blown off the map for all eternity.

He deserved what he got, but he didn’t literally KICK horses.  He let his boot brush against their hoof as it passed during the horse’s long stride.  He did this to win, and in spite of all of his demons, the one thing the bad boy didn’t do was cheat or try to NOT win a race.

This incredibly bad boy was loyal to the minions in the grandstand who bet the rent money on him.

Alas, Walter was gone,  but the newly invented and over-used phrase — KICKING THE HORSE lived on.  And it sounded really nasty.  It sounded so nasty that it made anyone who punished a horse kicker look like a knight in shining armor.

I guess this is what happened at Dover Downs. The place is a casino and harness racing is the albatross on its back.  Nobody really goes there to watch the races, but now, like all the other harness tracks in the USA, some crazy people have that weird idea that clearing the races of all  horse kickers will bring in new fans.

They’re wrong.  All they did was make a great race and a great driver look really bad, and they turned a heroic horse into an imaginary tragic victim.  Good grief! 

Dave Muscato — the publicity director for an organization that has invented itself as American Athiests — is getting a sex change.

Yes, the atheist prick will soon be the atheist cunt.  How hard was that to predict?

It’s okay to puke.  That’s what Jesus would do.

Yes, on top of all the other sickening things about this atrocious lump of un-fuckability,  the self-loathing monster –heretofore known as Danielle Mucato — is now venturing even deeper into his misbegotten life and scraping the bottom of the barrel  in a vain attempt to find what’s missing.  He’s outta luck because what is missing is something that doesn’t exist.  There is no THERE there.

The atheist thing wasn’t cutting it for him.    He wasn’t getting the attention he craved.  He wasn’t ENOUGH of a misfit.  He was too close to normal for comfort.  It wasn’t enough to be a fucking annoying douche bag who bashed on Christ and Christians and Christmas — he needed more.  And now, MORE means — chopping off his dick.

ATTENTION:  Dave (Danielle) Muscato, is tearing down that bitch of a tiny dick and putting a vagina where a vagina OUGHT TO BE!  

Naturally the malicious and very un-Christian fun starts just by imagining what unimaginable horrors can be wrought from a plain, old hypodermic needle and a  bottle of estrogen.

I mean, these are household items for a lot of people, but can you imagine their use in the case of Dave (Danielle) Muscato?

It promises to be the best Wes Craven movie ever made, and Wes Craven doesn’t even have to be there.   It’s going to make the Christine Jorgenson story look like an evening with Pat Boone and a medically dilating dildo.

Since I am a devout and loving Christian, I wish Dave(Danielle) Muscato, the best of luck with its penis removal and subsequent pussy installation.  I am sure everything will go smoothly because how hard can this kind of surgery be?  How hard can it be to remove a pesky little prick from someone who is already a huge cunt?

Kim Jong Un, the supreme leader of North Korea has been missing from the public eye for over a month.  Seems nobody has seen him since early September when it was reported by the BBC that the portly Dennis Rodman fan was walking with a discernible limp.  He may have had a limp, but was it a limp leg or a limp wrist?

Rumors are spreading that Kim Jong Un has been deposed because he was caught hoarding gay pornography from Western Europe and the USA in his spacious bedroom, and that he may have been fooling around with a few high priced Eastern European gay porn stars who he smuggled in as “friends” and “basketball buddies.”

“They are making up all kinds of possibilities for what’s going on with him,” said a gay porn producer in Prague.

“He was seen walking with a limp because his uncle’s bodyguards beat him badly when they were tipped off by a computer expert that the Supreme Leader had a taste for Slovakian muscle guys.  

“At first he was given the benefit of the doubt that this was perhaps a Western plot to defame him, but people who know said that his personal living areas were raided and ransacked and that over four thousand  porn magazine were found in his master suite bedroom which is about 6,000 square feet all by itself.  

“Since the stuff has been confiscated, the fat pig has been under house arrest and kept in solitary confinement until such time that he confesses.  The penalty will be death but right now the powers that be are trying so hard to keep this quiet that he might be killed off by saying that he had a fatal disease.  Those people are really crazy.” 

It’s no secret that Kim Jon Il likes black guys with big muscles and that his friendship with American Basketball star Dennis Rodman is really just a schoolgirl crush.

“Dennis Rodman has never had any sexual contact with Kim Jong Il,” said a source close to the NBA star.  

“Dennis was the one who suggested that Kim Jong Un get a penis enlargement over two years ago.  Dennis was unaware of Kim Jong’s penchant for gay porn, but he did know that the Korean leader was sensitive about the smallness of his penis.  Dennis heard that Kim Jong Il’s penis enlargement surgery went well but maybe something has gone wrong with the surgery or maybe he has used his now bigger tool with confidence with gay porn actors.  It’s hard to tell because nobody seems to know anything other than the fact that he was caught with a lot of gay porn magazines, DVDs and downloaded movies on his computer.”

According to sources who are usually pretty reliable, the Korean leader was able to increase the size of his penis from 3.2 inches to a thicker 4.7 inches, which, in Korean terms, is not too shabby.

On the most recent edition of the Fox News program, THE O’REILLY FACTOR. it was readily apparent that Fox contributor and pundit, Juan Williams — formerly of NPR — has had a great deal of plastic surgery.

“Juan had an eye job (blepheroplasty) and a brow lift,” said a source close to the FOX CABLE NEWS NETWORK.

“Juan has had a bunch of plastic surgery done all at once.  He also had a heavy chemical peel to help hide the effects of teenage acne.  Since all of these procedures were done so recently. Juan has had to wear a lot of extra makeup when he is on the air.  When you combine the heavy makeup ( which makes him look whiter) and all the surgical procedures, mainly around the eyes, the change in Juan Williams’ appearance has changed drastically.

An update will follow this late-breaking story.

She’s only been in the slammer for about one day and already Real Housewives of New Jersey star, Teresa Giudice is making outrageous demands on the prison administrators at the Federal Correctional Prison in Danbury, Connecticut.

Teresa’s first demand resulted in a brief flare of temper from  Inmate Food Services Coordinator  Chenille-Teniqua Jamaal — a woman who has worked hard to get where she is, and is not about to tolerate the “diva” behavior from someone like Teresa.

“She came in here with her hair and the extensions all puffed up and what-not with them eyes of hers so damn low in her hairline like some little play monkey.  She has the nerve, you know what I’m sayin’?   She’s a goddam convicted felon telling me what the f**k  I should be cooking in my facility.  Uh-huh, I’m not dealing with that s**t, no way Jose.”

“She got up in my face and demanded that we serve Celentano brand cavetelli pasta with white sauce and Italian wedding soup and pasta fagioli at least once a week on our menu.”

Chenille-Teniqua Jamaal continued:

“I told her straight up that this ain’t no party.  This ain’t no disco.  This ain’t no foolin’ around — and this certainly ain’t no Italian restaurant or Italian wedding.    I’m like, ‘do I look like I know what the hell Celentano cavetelli and pasta fagioli be,  and like don’t you know that you be in a motherf***in’ prison, girl?’  

“Something ain’t screwed on in that bitch’s head, you know what I’m saying?  We got something like a ape woman or whatever up in here now.”

Chenille-Teniqua Jamaal is not the only staff member at the facility who has already waged war against Teresa.

Television producer and writer Dave Mattia, who has set up shop in the prison to film a feature documentary about Teresa’s entire stay at the jail, has witnessed some really hard core diva performances already.

“We have cameras set up in her quarters that she can turn on and off as she pleases but she waltzes in and wants HER kind of lighting and HER kind of camera aperture.  She wouldn’t know an aperture from the crack in her ass but with her it’s all about control.  

“She complained about her bed and she demanded that one be shipped into her from Roma Furniture in Staten Island.  She wanted this really gaudy white laquer faux Florentine headboard and posts, but she can’t have that because it’s not in my budget or the prison’s budget.

“The prison psychologists have already designed the rooms in an ergonomic way so as to subliminally induce a state of well-being for all the prisoners.   They offered her something similar from Bob’s Discount Furniture, but Teresa said that she would puke out her cavetelli and white sauce before anyone puts discount furniture in her living quarters — and I say ‘living quarters’ to be nice, but let’s face it, she’s living in a cell for chrissakes and she’s not going to get that cavetalli with white sauce either.”

Stay tuned for more stories from our reporters who will check in on Teresa from time to time.  The Damien Zone is certain that the Real Housewife will have much more outrageous demands in the future.

http://thedamienzone.com/?p=8129

Above is a story we did about Teresa over a year ago where doctors pretty much predicted that her behavior was not in the normal range.

On the most recent edition of the Fox News program, THE O’REILLY FACTOR. it was readily apparent that Fox contributor and pundit, Juan Williams — formerly of NPR — has had a great deal of plastic surgery.

“Juan had an eye job (blepheroplasty) and a brow lift,” said a source close to the FOX CABLE NEWS NETWORK.

“Juan has had a bunch of plastic surgery done all at once.  He also had a heavy chemical peel to help hide the effects of teenage acne.  Since all of these procedures were done so recently. Juan has had to wear a lot of extra makeup when he is on the air.  When you combine the heavy makeup ( which makes him look whiter) and all the surgical procedures, mainly around the eyes, the change in Juan Williams’ appearance has changed drastically.

An update will follow this late-breaking story.

Zeal is the Real Deal

jamescapizzi.zealforlife.com

I have never endorsed a product because nothing has ever wowed me, until I met Zeal. I ran into an old doctor friend (Oncologist) at Whole Foods who looked amazing. He actually looked 10 years younger than when I last saw him. I asked him what his secret was – I assumed he was going to say eating healthy and hitting the gym. He mentioned this product called Zeal and that a patient of his had actually told him about it. His patient was a 2 time breast cancer survivor who started taking Zeal for Life after having a 3rd scare. She started taking Zeal for Life just weeks before her next mammogram appointment and when she came in, that small lump he saw just 3 short months prior was gone. My doctor friend asked her what she was doing different from the last time he saw her, and she simply said she had started taking this Zeal product someone had told her about. My doctor friend asked her if she could have someone come to his office and do a presentation for him and all his other colleagues in his practice. From that point on, we decided to give this ground breaking product to every patient that walks through our office.

Zeal Wellness is a unique and proprietary formula designed to deliver immediate results as well as long-term health benefits. The team that developed the Zeal formula believes it is the most impactful of any they’ve created in 18 years. Why? Because they developed Zeal Wellness using natural, time-tested ingredients (some used for centuries) and scientific clinical research confirming their incredible health benefits.

Zeal Wellness is the result of scientists searching the world for the best natural ingredients to enrich, restore and protect health and vitality. In Brazil, they found natural rice bran, one of the most nutrient-dense super foods on the planet, and extracted the most nutritious part for Zeal Wellness. In North America, they found aloe vera, long-heralded for its healing properties and digestive and immune system support. From the Amazon, they brought back acai, the legendary antioxidant that helps fend off the ravaging effects of free radicals. Tumeric, a powerful anti-inflammatory from India; goji berries from the Himalayas and noni from the South Pacific are also on the list of powerful ingredients in a single concentrated serving of Zeal Wellness.
As Zeal Wellness enters the body, it is readily absorbed and immediately goes to work at the cellular level to neutralize free radicals, repair damaged cells and strengthen others.

With this convenient, all-in-one natural nutritional formula, you will feel more vibrant, have more energy and recapture your youthful Zeal for life.

We’re so confident in the positive effects Zeal Wellness can have on your feeling of well-being, we stand behind it with a 30-day money back guarantee.

The Three Essential Nutrient Blends in Zeal

1. Enrich Blend delivers a complete spectrum of nutrition including rice bran extract, moringa oleifera, blueberry powder, cranberry powder, broccoli sprouts and alfalfa sprouts. The “whole” food, moringa oleifera (leaf), is a unique super green food grown in India and contains more than 60 separate nutritional elements. It has been used for thousands of years in aryuvedic medicine to support good health and nutrition.
   2. Restore Blend contains polysaccharides to promote cellular health and youthfulness with a unique cellular health ingredient. This blend delivers nutrients concentrated 200 times to create an extremely effective and powerful component. Because of this high concentration, one serving of Zeal contains the healing power comparable to drinking 64 ounces of aloe juice. As the body absorbs these nutrients, immune cells are literally “galvanized into action.” The Restore blend is also packed with natural amino acids vital to your body’s ability to work and recover on its own.3. Protect Blend contains more than 80 different trace, ionic, fulvic minerals and zeolites to deliver nutrients at the cellular level. Your body needs trace minerals to perform all of its functions and Zeal’s powerfully healthy minerals make an immediate impact.

It makes perfect sense. When you give the body all it truly needs to function at full capacity the body starts to do incredible things. There are countless stories I have seen from all the people I have met over the last couple years that take Zeal on a daily basis. From migraine sufferers going from 2-3 a week to maybe 1 a month while on Zeal, and even when they feel a migraine surfacing they take another Zeal and within 30 minutes that migraines disappears. Almost everyone I have met has said they have all day energy, which I can definitely vouch for. I have met a number of people who suffered from anxiety or insomnia who have stated that they are a lot more relaxed and are able to sleep through the night now because of Zeal. I met another gentleman who suffered a severe stroke and he started taking Zeal 3 times a day under the care of his doctor and after his first check his doctor told him he was 1 year ahead of where he should be. He was also told he would never walk and he is walking with a cane! Another nutritionist friend of mine struggled with weight her whole life after being on Zeal for a year she has lost nearly 100 lbs – Zeal helps curbs your appetite and also makes you crave less carbs, sweets and even coffee. I know this first hand. I used to drink 3 to 4 cups every morning to get my day going. Since being on Zeal, I no longer crave it. Another interesting factor from talking to many women is libido, their husbands have shown vast improvements in the bedroom. One woman told me her husband is performing like he used to when he was 25. People really are getting their “zeal” back after being on it long term. Again, when your body is getting what it needs it is content and does not crave fatty, salty, greasy or sugary foods.

If you’d like to try Zeal you can by simply getting it from my provider jamescapizzi.zealforlife.com There you can read more about the product, order a sample (where it says TRY ZEAL), get 15% when you sign up as a preferred customer and even sign up to become a Zeal distributor. Any questions regarding ordering the product or the business opportunity can be directed to James Capizzi via the above website, under CONTACT.

The product is very affordable, about $2 a day, that’s less than a Monster energy drink and even less than an iced-mocha at Starbucks! People are always amazed that it actually is tasty too – my personal favorite is the Wildberry flavor.

You should always consult with your physician when taking any new products or supplements. Zeal for Life is 100% NATURAL and made from whole foods. Safe enough to give to your pet – at a small dose of course.

Nutritionist to the stars,

Evelyn Watts

On the most recent edition of the Fox News program, THE O’REILLY FACTOR. it was readily apparent that Fox contributor and pundit, Juan Williams — formerly of NPR — has had a great deal of plastic surgery.

“Juan had an eye job (blepheroplasty) and a brow lift,” said a source close to the FOX CABLE NEWS NETWORK.

“Juan has had a bunch of plastic surgery done all at once.  He also had a heavy chemical peel to help hide the effects of teenage acne.  Since all of these procedures were done so recently. Juan has had to wear a lot of extra makeup when he is on the air.  When you combine the heavy makeup ( which makes him look whiter) and all the surgical procedures, mainly around the eyes, the change in Juan Williams’ appearance has changed drastically.

An update will follow this late-breaking story.

Zeal is the Real Deal

jamescapizzi.zealforlife.com

I have never endorsed a product because nothing has ever wowed me, until I met Zeal. I ran into an old doctor friend (Oncologist) at Whole Foods who looked amazing. He actually looked 10 years younger than when I last saw him. I asked him what his secret was – I assumed he was going to say eating healthy and hitting the gym. He mentioned this product called Zeal and that a patient of his had actually told him about it. His patient was a 2 time breast cancer survivor who started taking Zeal for Life after having a 3rd scare. She started taking Zeal for Life just weeks before her next mammogram appointment and when she came in, that small lump he saw just 3 short months prior was gone. My doctor friend asked her what she was doing different from the last time he saw her, and she simply said she had started taking this Zeal product someone had told her about. My doctor friend asked her if she could have someone come to his office and do a presentation for him and all his other colleagues in his practice. From that point on, we decided to give this ground breaking product to every patient that walks through our office.

Zeal Wellness is a unique and proprietary formula designed to deliver immediate results as well as long-term health benefits. The team that developed the Zeal formula believes it is the most impactful of any they’ve created in 18 years. Why? Because they developed Zeal Wellness using natural, time-tested ingredients (some used for centuries) and scientific clinical research confirming their incredible health benefits.

Zeal Wellness is the result of scientists searching the world for the best natural ingredients to enrich, restore and protect health and vitality. In Brazil, they found natural rice bran, one of the most nutrient-dense super foods on the planet, and extracted the most nutritious part for Zeal Wellness. In North America, they found aloe vera, long-heralded for its healing properties and digestive and immune system support. From the Amazon, they brought back acai, the legendary antioxidant that helps fend off the ravaging effects of free radicals. Tumeric, a powerful anti-inflammatory from India; goji berries from the Himalayas and noni from the South Pacific are also on the list of powerful ingredients in a single concentrated serving of Zeal Wellness.
As Zeal Wellness enters the body, it is readily absorbed and immediately goes to work at the cellular level to neutralize free radicals, repair damaged cells and strengthen others.

With this convenient, all-in-one natural nutritional formula, you will feel more vibrant, have more energy and recapture your youthful Zeal for life.

We’re so confident in the positive effects Zeal Wellness can have on your feeling of well-being, we stand behind it with a 30-day money back guarantee.

The Three Essential Nutrient Blends in Zeal

1. Enrich Blend delivers a complete spectrum of nutrition including rice bran extract, moringa oleifera, blueberry powder, cranberry powder, broccoli sprouts and alfalfa sprouts. The “whole” food, moringa oleifera (leaf), is a unique super green food grown in India and contains more than 60 separate nutritional elements. It has been used for thousands of years in aryuvedic medicine to support good health and nutrition.
   2. Restore Blend contains polysaccharides to promote cellular health and youthfulness with a unique cellular health ingredient. This blend delivers nutrients concentrated 200 times to create an extremely effective and powerful component. Because of this high concentration, one serving of Zeal contains the healing power comparable to drinking 64 ounces of aloe juice. As the body absorbs these nutrients, immune cells are literally “galvanized into action.” The Restore blend is also packed with natural amino acids vital to your body’s ability to work and recover on its own.3. Protect Blend contains more than 80 different trace, ionic, fulvic minerals and zeolites to deliver nutrients at the cellular level. Your body needs trace minerals to perform all of its functions and Zeal’s powerfully healthy minerals make an immediate impact.

It makes perfect sense. When you give the body all it truly needs to function at full capacity the body starts to do incredible things. There are countless stories I have seen from all the people I have met over the last couple years that take Zeal on a daily basis. From migraine sufferers going from 2-3 a week to maybe 1 a month while on Zeal, and even when they feel a migraine surfacing they take another Zeal and within 30 minutes that migraines disappears. Almost everyone I have met has said they have all day energy, which I can definitely vouch for. I have met a number of people who suffered from anxiety or insomnia who have stated that they are a lot more relaxed and are able to sleep through the night now because of Zeal. I met another gentleman who suffered a severe stroke and he started taking Zeal 3 times a day under the care of his doctor and after his first check his doctor told him he was 1 year ahead of where he should be. He was also told he would never walk and he is walking with a cane! Another nutritionist friend of mine struggled with weight her whole life after being on Zeal for a year she has lost nearly 100 lbs – Zeal helps curbs your appetite and also makes you crave less carbs, sweets and even coffee. I know this first hand. I used to drink 3 to 4 cups every morning to get my day going. Since being on Zeal, I no longer crave it. Another interesting factor from talking to many women is libido, their husbands have shown vast improvements in the bedroom. One woman told me her husband is performing like he used to when he was 25. People really are getting their “zeal” back after being on it long term. Again, when your body is getting what it needs it is content and does not crave fatty, salty, greasy or sugary foods.

If you’d like to try Zeal you can by simply getting it from my provider jamescapizzi.zealforlife.com There you can read more about the product, order a sample (where it says TRY ZEAL), get 15% when you sign up as a preferred customer and even sign up to become a Zeal distributor. Any questions regarding ordering the product or the business opportunity can be directed to James Capizzi via the above website, under CONTACT.

The product is very affordable, about $2 a day, that’s less than a Monster energy drink and even less than an iced-mocha at Starbucks! People are always amazed that it actually is tasty too – my personal favorite is the Wildberry flavor.

You should always consult with your physician when taking any new products or supplements. Zeal for Life is 100% NATURAL and made from whole foods. Safe enough to give to your pet – at a small dose of course.

Nutritionist to the stars,

Evelyn Watts

New photographs and stories have appeared on the FBI website which prove that Adolph Hitler did not die in his bunker in 1945.   Not only did he live and flee to Argentina, he died in 1990 — living to the age of 101.

According to eyewitnesses, he was a quiet man who liked  to entertain guests in his lakefront home and loved to make fun of Jimmy Carter who he referred to as, The worst President in the history of the USA.”

The picture on the left is supposedly a snapshot of Hitler taken in 1977.  There are more photos here.

Pictures of Hitler are here and here.  Das Materals.  If that link doesn’t work, there is another link at the bottom of the page.

Of course there is another element to this story that is stranger than fiction.  Read it here because The Damien Zone got  the exclusive interviews.

New information has shown that the defeated Nazi leader fled Germany Days before the Russian army overran his country.  The remains that were found were impostors. There is, however, some reason to believe that Hitler’s wife Eva Braun,  may have actually been killed in the bunker to make the murder-suicide seem more realistic.

According to witnesses who are long dead, Hitler did not kill Eva himself because he placed such a high moral value on human life.  He had someone else do it.   There were witnesses to this and one stated in sworn testimony that Hitler “cringed a little” when he heard the distant gunshot that killed Eva Braun.

According to secret documents,  Hitler fled to Flores, Argentina where he went unnoticed in the crowded and squalid barrio adjacent to Buenos Aires.

According to forensic experts who are now searching for a possible grave or tomb, Hitler shaved the top of his head to appear bald, got rid of the mustache and stopped dying his hair until it grew in gray.  He also changed his named to Hans Mueller where he spoke fluent Spanish and often played with the local children who were very poor and hungry.

Hitler lived a quiet life in a small apartment in Flores for about four years and then he moved to a small lakefront home near the town of Guamini where he lived off the land with another man who has yet to be identified.

Most of the people questioned in this most recent investigation were alive as children and knew Hitler as kindly Hans Mueller who lived in a rundown house with his dog Kiki.  The local kids said he was a nice man who often patted them on the heads and told them to stay out of the sun and to avoid pawn shops.

“Each morning there was a young boy with a donkey and a cart.  His name was Jorge  Bergoglio,  He would deliver milk and eggs to Senor Hans Miller and for that he would be given small amounts of money and a prayer card,” said Herve Florinas who is now 81 and living with his life partner Ramondo in Santiago, Chile.

“As a child. I was always very jealous of Jorge Bergoglio,” continued Florinas.    He always managed to have money and nice clothes while the rest of us were starving and without shoes.  

“One day we tied him up and ate his donkey.  My father used the animal’s hide to make shoes for me and several of the children from the slums.  When Jorge found out, he screamed and cried and stomped his feet.  

“I remember vividly that Hans Mueller found this to be very funny overall but he was annoyed by Jorge’s incessant crying.  Finally Hans Mueller slapped Jorge across the face and yelled, ‘You can act like a man,’ and from then on Jorge became very quiet and religious and he wanted everybody to like him.”

The Damien Zone noticed that Herve Florina’s memory is either not what it used to be,  or maybe he is simply suffering from the ravages of being old and gay in Argentina.    In one sense Herve seemed to enjoy telling his dead donkey story in great detail and poking fun at little Jorge Mario Bergoglio.  But with regards to his brush with Hitler,  he left out the most important ingredient to his story.  Turns out that he didn’t know the best part of his own story.

While little Herve,  may have had the unique experience of knowing Adolph Hitler after WW2,  he was blissfully unaware that he was witness to the strangest paring of people, and the crossing of paths, in the history of the world.

We had to tell him the missing element to his story — one about which he was amazingly surprised.

“I did not know that Jorge Bergoglio grew up to be Pope Francis.  Oh my god, I so totally did not know that.  What a strange coincidence,” said Florinas.

“I was a little confused and hungry at the time I guess and I didn’t put two and two together.  When I knew Hans Mueller, who turned out to be Adolph Hitler, I had only just recently met my life partner in the garbage dump behind our shack.  I guess I was so in love that I didn’t pay attention to Nazis and Popes and things like that. 

“That was in 1946, and who can remember that far back?  I knew that Jorge was an annoying kid and. there was no doubt about that because that’s why we ate his donkey and made shoes with his skin, but I totally didn’t know that the little boy who delivered groceries to Adolph Hitler grew up to be Pope Francis.  Isn’t that something?”

The little boy with the donkey and groceries — Jorge Mario Bergoglio — grew up to be none other than Pope Francis.

It’s true — Pope Francis used to be Adolph Hitler’s delivery boy.

Here is the full story.  http://www.riseearth.com/2015/02/fbi-hitler-didnt-die-fled-to-argentina.html#.VOMkOIz-iDc.facebook

Television chef and alleged slave owner, Lidia Bastianich, has finally done away with the spray-on scalp camouflage auburn-brown for her bald head, and she can now be seen boiling shellfish alive in a buttery rissoto broth while wearing her brand new wig which she had styled by the same man who cuts MSNBC’s Chris Matthews’ real hair.

EDITOR’S NOTE:  Lidia is not wearing a wig per se,  She is wearing a man’s toupee which doesn’t blend in well with her barely existing side hair.  It is, however, nicer than the spray on hair she was using and there is no longer any danger of her dogs dying of lead poisoning from eating the paint chips on her pillow.

For years, the alleged slave owner/chef, was cursed with a head that looked like a piece of volcanic rock from Mount Vesuvius.    Of course she did have a few wisps of hair, but no one would ever eat anything she made with angel hair pasta for fear that any piece could actually be a piece of Lidia’s falling hair.

According to a source close to the bald TV chef, Lidia started having a hard time organizing dinner parties and luncheons.  Finally she faced the bald truth.

“Nobody would come. If you only knew how many times Lidia’s friends and family bit into a piece of angel hair pasta only to find that it was actually one of the last remaining strands of Lydia’s hair — and she’s no angel.  It got to the point where one could only eat her acclaimed shrimp with angel hair pasta if the guy from the barber shop was there sweeping up around the seats.”

According to what we here at The Damien Zone can measure via the HD plasma screen on which we watch Lidia Bastianich, it’s safe to assume that her head is far too huge and misshapen for most lady’s wigs.   It’s actually kind of funny to see a woman wearing a bad man’s toupee, but the food she was making looked good and the danger of hair in dish was greatly diminished.

A former slave added this little tidbit of information about Lidia’s new hair.

“Lidia is a huge fan of MSNBC newsman Chris Matthews and when she contacted him about his hair, a style which she admires greatly, Chris referred her to his stylist Raul St. Pierre, who did the best he could to make Lidia’s toupee look like a delicate woman’s hairstyle.  Things seem to working out well,  but now that Lidia has locked the stylist in the basement of her home and making him slave over her new hair, he has no time for Chris Matthews who is starting to look a little unkempt.”

More proof of how stupidity and dumbness is alive and very well in the world — and this time it’s all over a dress.  Heaven help us all.

The latest — and most wildly aggressive – non-issue to saturate the empty sponge heads of Facebook simpletons ( a distinct ethnic group unto itself) and the various and sundry misfits throughout the electronic cloud of dumbness, involves a cheap, shitty dress that looks to be blue and black to some people, and gold and white to others.    Wow — this is serious stuff, folks.  This is freaking amazing!  It’s a geyser of important information.

The whole craze spread throughout the USA and elsewhere in one day — ONE FREAKING DAY!  The trouble is that the whole thing is a complete waste of time and one of those weird light tricks that is being passed off as hoax.

“I’m surprised this didn’t happen sooner,”  said Dr. Raymond Totondi of the Skylight Institute for Physiological Research in Switzerland.

“The dress seems to be obviously blue and black to a person sitting at one computer, and then it appears to be gold and yellow to others at another computer or even the same computer.  

“The color change, however, is not indicative of some brain differences or anything to do with personality or temperament as some have claimed.   That is where this meme enters into hoax territory.  It’s simple logic and knowledge about how computer screens work. 

“Make no mistake, it’s a hoax, but only because it’s being presented to the public as some eerily strange phenomenon.” 

In a nutshell, here is what Dr, Totondi explained, and why he sees this whole issue as a hoax-ish fad that will eventually die away.

Here is why it’s blue or black or gold and white, and why you should pay more attention to the color of your stool than to the color of this slutty dress.

1) A person who sees the dress as black and blue will email it to another person who sees it as gold and white.  The difference in that case is that it is being viewed by two different screens — both having different resolutions and color saturation.

2) A person who sees the dress as black and blue (which are the actual colors) will call someone over and ask them what colors they see.  Almost always the person who comes over stands over the person who is sitting at the computer.  From that angle, the appearance of saturation changes and the semi-complimentary colors of yellow and white appear.  It’s that simple.

Some enterprising — but mindless woman — put a pic on Tumblr or something and within a few hours, a billion people were arguing over the color of an ugly dress.  The dimwit  is happy because — according to Sky News – she “broke the internet.”  Good for her.

For the next year, as a Grand Prize offered by the Opposite-Of-Mensa Society,  she gets to officiate at  ribbon-cutting ceremonies at all the new Piggly Wigglys opening throughout the world.

Additionally,  she gets 1,000 new followers on Tumblr and 200 babies get free heart transplants.

Yes — the DUMBNESS CONTINUES!

In  his unyielding quest to locate Hillary Clinton’s deleted emails, South Carolina Congressman Trey Gowdy has had to pull his thinning wisps of hair into a swirling beehive — and the fashion police  LOVE IT!

“Trey is a lot like Veronica Lake,” said one Washington DC insider.

It seems that During World War II, Veronica Lake cut and pulled up her famous peekaboo locks to show American women that long hair can be a hazard on the job.

At the time many women were copying Veronica Lakes luxurious hairstyle, but since many of these women had to work in factories that supplied planes and trucks and weapons to the military for the war effort, the long hair could get caught in the machinery.

In a true patriotic attempt to hold back the Nazis and the Japanese, Veronica Lake sacrificed her golden locks for the war effort.

In a sense that is what Trey Gowdy has done.  He has wrapped his hair up in a twisted knot so he can lean close to the business of finding Hillary Clinton’s long lost emails, and for that patriotism, we salute him.

The Bitchy Queens of the USA, (heretofore a distinct ethnic group unto themselves) now despise Bruce Jenner.    Let me explain why.

Isn’t this super?   A genuine, old school American hero, has announced that he is a transsexual.  How non-threatening and white bread can you get?

Religious Conservatives of all faiths and all other manner of contentious people who previously viewed transsexuals as weird people who live in a weird and sinful world are dumbfounded and confronted with the strange truth that   Bruce Jenner, an Olympic athlete, and the embodiment of American masculinity. is changing his sex.

You’d think that this would be an incredible way for the LGBT community to put a great and famous face on the issue of gender identity and transsexualism.   Right?   WRONG!

Bruce Jenner, after years of dealing with his inner “self” has handed the LGBT community the gift of the century.   Sadly, the mostly moronic and vocal LGBT community town criers —  many of which are Bitchy Queens — are happy to throw Bruce under a big lavender bus because he is not a left wing Hollywood liberal Democrat.  There will be no testimonials for Bruce at the Dorothy Chandler Pavilion.  He will not be feted by people like Susan Saran Wrap or Moral Streep.

Whaaaaaaaaaaat??  You mean, the LGBT community is not embracing the guy who went from Decathlon to D-cup — from Olympian to Olympia — from hero to heroine?

Bruce Jenner, the ultimate all-American boy next door — and Olympic Champion has finally announced what many people suspected all along — that he is a transsexual and that he has decided to make the medical transition from living as an unhappy and unsettled man to living as a contented woman.

Good for him, and I am sure all rational, thinking people wish him all the best on his personal journey.  This could not have been an easy decision for Bruce to make, but he made it and EVERYONE should support him and anyone like him.

Bruce came out with all of this in an ABC interview conducted by the  “C-word personified”  Diane Sawyer.

Miss Sawyer always looks like she is trying to take a hard, scratchy dump.  She has that fake pained expression her face like, “This is really gonna hurt, ” and it does.

For a moment the Bitchy Queens of the USA — and they are all over the media — were jumping for joy and doing fist pumps – if you’ll pardon the expression.

The average gay person, however, being sound of mind and intellect, smiled happily for Bruce and wished him well during this life adventure.

Bruce then stated  — when questioned by the human C-word with 10 pounds of impacted fecal waste in her colon — that he was a registered Republican.

Of course there was no real reason for C-word Sawyer to ask this question, but she had to stick it Bruce.  She had to show how much she loves and embraces the gays and how gay-adjacent she is.   She is the champion the gay world.  She is also a phony piece of shit.

Anyway, at the moment Bruce announced that he was a Republican, if you stuck your head out from a window at that very moment, you would have heard the bitchy queens screaming in tortured anguish like wispy little Fay Wrays in the clutches of a great Republican ape.

The average gay person, on the other hand,  is happy for Bruce.  They understand that he is a human being and that he has his opinions about things, and those things stand apart from his issues concerning his own gender identity.

Sadly, the Bitchy Queens only care about their own bitchy issues.  They’re unreal and uninformed knowledge of politics and policy is governed by the rantings of other Bitchy Queens and the insane things they read on sites like The Daily Kos — a site that spends 24 hours per day looking for any crazy Christian they can find in the hinterlands of the deep south to write about and turn into a front page left wing McCarthy hearing.

Sometimes it’s not so easy for unhappy people who troll the internet to find the easy Republican kooky targets.  For that reason the Bitchy Queens have taken to recycling the same old shit about Rick Santorum and Sarah Palin and a few other usual suspects.

Heck,  there is always some senile preacher in Bumfuk USA who preaches in a sermon that gay people will burn in hell or something like that.  If you look hard enough you can find anything for crying out loud.  But, the fuktards find this shit and post it on Facebook and discuss their outrage.  They don’t really know what they’re mad at, but they’re Bitchy Queens and that’s what they do.  Why do snakes bite?  It’s their nature, folks.

So…….because Bruce is a Republican, he is no longer worthy of the love and praise and support of the Bitchy Queens — proving of course that the Bitchy Queens never REALLY love and support anyone.  They are quite content to be mindless and allow straight Hollywood people tell them how to behave towards one of their own.    If it weren’t so sad, it would be funny.

For the rest of the LGBT community — the normal people who don’t run around trying to imitate or denigrate heterosexuality and heterosexuals and their life rituals —  Bruce is a brave and classy guy who is now a gal.

Good luck, Bruce.

New photographs and stories have appeared on the FBI website which prove that Adolph Hitler did not die in his bunker in 1945.   Not only did he live and flee to Argentina, he died in 1990 — living to the age of 101.

According to eyewitnesses, he was a quiet man who liked  to entertain guests in his lakefront home and loved to make fun of Jimmy Carter who he referred to as, The worst President in the history of the USA.”

The picture on the left is supposedly a snapshot of Hitler taken in 1977.  There are more photos here.

Pictures of Hitler are here and here.  Das Materals.  If that link doesn’t work, there is another link at the bottom of the page.

Of course there is another element to this story that is stranger than fiction.  Read it here because The Damien Zone got  the exclusive interviews.

New information has shown that the defeated Nazi leader fled Germany Days before the Russian army overran his country.  The remains that were found were impostors. There is, however, some reason to believe that Hitler’s wife Eva Braun,  may have actually been killed in the bunker to make the murder-suicide seem more realistic.

According to witnesses who are long dead, Hitler did not kill Eva himself because he placed such a high moral value on human life.  He had someone else do it.   There were witnesses to this and one stated in sworn testimony that Hitler “cringed a little” when he heard the distant gunshot that killed Eva Braun.

According to secret documents,  Hitler fled to Flores, Argentina where he went unnoticed in the crowded and squalid barrio adjacent to Buenos Aires.

According to forensic experts who are now searching for a possible grave or tomb, Hitler shaved the top of his head to appear bald, got rid of the mustache and stopped dying his hair until it grew in gray.  He also changed his named to Hans Mueller where he spoke fluent Spanish and often played with the local children who were very poor and hungry.

Hitler lived a quiet life in a small apartment in Flores for about four years and then he moved to a small lakefront home near the town of Guamini where he lived off the land with another man who has yet to be identified.

Most of the people questioned in this most recent investigation were alive as children and knew Hitler as kindly Hans Mueller who lived in a rundown house with his dog Kiki.  The local kids said he was a nice man who often patted them on the heads and told them to stay out of the sun and to avoid pawn shops.

“Each morning there was a young boy with a donkey and a cart.  His name was Jorge  Bergoglio,  He would deliver milk and eggs to Senor Hans Miller and for that he would be given small amounts of money and a prayer card,” said Herve Florinas who is now 81 and living with his life partner Ramondo in Santiago, Chile.

“As a child. I was always very jealous of Jorge Bergoglio,” continued Florinas.    He always managed to have money and nice clothes while the rest of us were starving and without shoes.  

“One day we tied him up and ate his donkey.  My father used the animal’s hide to make shoes for me and several of the children from the slums.  When Jorge found out, he screamed and cried and stomped his feet.  

“I remember vividly that Hans Mueller found this to be very funny overall but he was annoyed by Jorge’s incessant crying.  Finally Hans Mueller slapped Jorge across the face and yelled, ‘You can act like a man,’ and from then on Jorge became very quiet and religious and he wanted everybody to like him.”

The Damien Zone noticed that Herve Florina’s memory is either not what it used to be,  or maybe he is simply suffering from the ravages of being old and gay in Argentina.    In one sense Herve seemed to enjoy telling his dead donkey story in great detail and poking fun at little Jorge Mario Bergoglio.  But with regards to his brush with Hitler,  he left out the most important ingredient to his story.  Turns out that he didn’t know the best part of his own story.

While little Herve,  may have had the unique experience of knowing Adolph Hitler after WW2,  he was blissfully unaware that he was witness to the strangest paring of people, and the crossing of paths, in the history of the world.

We had to tell him the missing element to his story — one about which he was amazingly surprised.

“I did not know that Jorge Bergoglio grew up to be Pope Francis.  Oh my god, I so totally did not know that.  What a strange coincidence,” said Florinas.

“I was a little confused and hungry at the time I guess and I didn’t put two and two together.  When I knew Hans Mueller, who turned out to be Adolph Hitler, I had only just recently met my life partner in the garbage dump behind our shack.  I guess I was so in love that I didn’t pay attention to Nazis and Popes and things like that. 

“That was in 1946, and who can remember that far back?  I knew that Jorge was an annoying kid and. there was no doubt about that because that’s why we ate his donkey and made shoes with his skin, but I totally didn’t know that the little boy who delivered groceries to Adolph Hitler grew up to be Pope Francis.  Isn’t that something?”

The little boy with the donkey and groceries — Jorge Mario Bergoglio — grew up to be none other than Pope Francis.

It’s true — Pope Francis used to be Adolph Hitler’s delivery boy.

Here is the full story.  http://www.riseearth.com/2015/02/fbi-hitler-didnt-die-fled-to-argentina.html#.VOMkOIz-iDc.facebook

Fox Sports Arizona announcers Steve Berthiaume and Bob Brenly were in complete shock yesterday when a big, beer belly, pushy, bully, block-headed douche bag shoved an older woman like she was a piece of dirt in in the gutter just so he could retrieve Maikel Franco’s first home run ball at the Diamondback -Phillies game.

The big slob was later identified as Brod Kearnbleu, a 33-year-old locker room attendant and laundry manager at a men’s spa and sauna  somewhere north of downtown Philly.

“He would have pushed that poor woman over the rail to get that ball, ” said a fan who refused to be identified.  “He has some kind of weird ‘thing’ for Franco and he wanted that ball regardless of whatever he had to do to get it….and he got it.  He has gotten very mean lately. He runs around the stadium always trying to get a better look at Franco.  It’s freaky. “

MORE PICS TAKEN HERE: Diamondback photia — the link might be broken now but it worked last night.

Friends of Brod Kearnbleu, who later negotiated an undisclosed deal with Franco’s entourage for the return of the ball, said that he has changed a lot in the past year and that ever since he got the job in the men’s only sauna, he has become very obnoxious and unpredictable.

“He’s turned into a bully and always trying to prove his masculinity.  He was never really into girls that much but now he’s outright hostile about it.  Especially now that he moved in with this old dude he says is his uncle.  He never had any uncles before. 

“All he does is worship Franco.  Something happened to him since he started working in that spa place.  He used to like baseball like a normal person but he also enjoyed art and music and in high school loved Broadway shows and musicals.  He once even played a big part in the community production of ‘Oklahoma’ and he got a standing ovation.”

According to Damien Zone sources, Brod Kearnbleu grew up in Bakersfield, California and moved to the Philadelphia area after graduating from an undisclosed two-year college where he majored in theater and costume design.   He lives now with an older man who is described as his ‘uncle’ by the woman who owns the building.

“I never liked the guy since the day he signed the lease,” said his landlady who prefers to be anonymous. 

“He’s like, I don’t know, I guess you would call him a meathead or something but he has a delicate and almost bitchy feminine side.  

“He likes to listen to show tunes all day and I know he sews a lot,  but then he blasts the baseball games on the TV and radio all day long.  

“His uncle is a shady guy too but he pays the rent on time.  All they ever do is order take out food and they don’t recycle the cardboard Chinese boxes like they’re supposed to.  The kid Brod has gain about 50 pounds since he moved in with his uncle.  I don’t know what’s really going on with the whole uncle thing,  but I always say, ‘live and let live,’ especially if they pay the rent and don’t take dope. “

The community of FACEBOOK SIMPLETONS — a rather new and distinct underprivileged ethnic group — is at it again.  This time it’s another fake “no tip for you” receipt from a soldier who wrote that his tip would be zero because, in his perfectly scrawled words he stated:  “My tip is the freedoms I provided you while serving my country.”  

Jimmy Kimmel is a very popular late night talk show in the USA.    He is very well liked and is viewed mostly as a non-polarizing and non-partisan comedic interviewer.   In other words,  he doesn’t offend too many people in a country where everyone seems to get outrageously touchy over the simplest of things.

Recently, however, Jimmy Kimmel’s staff of writers  — which includes Jimmy himself — may have pushed the envelope a bit too far.

If you didn’t already know, the Unites States Supreme Court voted to make same sex marriage legal in all the fifty states that make up the USA.

Prior to this landmark decision, the laws for or against same sex marriage were implemented by each individual state.  In some States same sex marriage was legal while in others it was not.  This Supreme Court ruling put an end to all that nitpicking,  and now there is no more debating the issue.   If you live in the USA — even if it’s in a cardboard box — you can now marry a person of the same sex.  End of story.

Apparently, because of the groundswell of happiness from those in the USA who support same sex marriage, Jimmy Kimmel and his gang thought it would be cute to go out onto the streets of Los Angeles  – in this case Hollywood Blvd — and ask passing children some questions about gay marriage.  It was rather funny, but let’s just say that Art Linkletter wouldn’t have done it…even in 2015.

Art Linkletter was an American TV host and raconteur who gained international fame with his  TV show – “KIDS SAY THE DARNDEST THINGS.”

On his program, Linkletter used to ask young kids all kinds of questions about life, romance, school, marriage, pets and just about everything you could think of within the boundaries of what was considered at the time to be in good taste.

Over the years, interviewing thousands of children, Art Linkletter accumulated some hilarious answers from his juvenile panel.    Very rarely,  a child would say something that may have had a slightly sexual or naughty overtone,  and the audience would giggle politely.

This is a typical example:  ART LINKLETTER:  “Can you tell me something you don’t like about going out to a restaurant?”  CHILD #1:  I hate to get all dressed up because my collar itches me.   CHILD #2:  “I don’t like when we have to leave before dessert comes because my mommy gets mad at my daddy for looking at the pretty waitresses.”

This is about as blue as it got on Art’s show because these were children, and by today’s standards, it’s harmless stuff.   Art would simply raise a suggestive eyebrow and continue on to the next child.

Kimmel’s crew did something very similar this week, and the video snippet of it has gone viral on Facebook — the homeland of the Facebook Simpletons –  a distinct ethnic group of people who live only to look at pictures of kittens, send prayers to the sick,  and to pick politically moronic fights with other Facebook Simpletons.

Jimmy Kimmel set up a camera on Hollywood Blvd and asked passing kids questions about “gay marriage” in various the ways of — what does it mean?  What do you think of it?    What do you think?

The answers were quite humorous because kids truly do say the darndest things, but there was something creepy about the whole thing.

If you were to put on a trench coat and go into a schoolyard and ask these children questions about same sex marriage and gay marriage — or however you want to phrase it — you could get into some pretty big trouble.  Of course these children had their parents permission to answer the Kimmel camera, but did that make it right?

When you ask a child about “gay” or “straight” marriage, there is an element of sexuality brought into the picture…isn’t there?

Should children be asked questions of that nature and then have their words and images thrown out all over  the internet for the whole world to see just because some parents or TV producers are hoping that their kid will be the next YouTube sensation?

I don’t know, but there was something weird about it.  It sounded creepy.

I support same sex marriage 100%, but what’s the deal about asking CHILDREN for their opinions?

Sure, you get a laugh, but where do you draw the line between good taste and tackiness or criminality?  Like I said, if you ask kids the same questions in a street corner without the glitz and glamour of the Jimmy Kimmel show, wouldn’t your ass get hauled into jail?

Here’s another thing.  What if a religious TV station were to do the same thing?  What if some Bible study group asked passing kids — with their parents permission — what they didn’t like about gay marriage?  What would happen?   Wouldn’t they be called religious zealots and pedophiles?  Of course they would.  There would be a line of people leading up to the Los Angeles County Courthouse waiting to press criminal charges against the religious TV show.  Then the sponsors would all drop out and the whole thing would go out of business.  That’s how they mark PROGRESS in the USA.

Do you think I am overstating this?  I don’t.  I think you shouldn’t go around entertaining people by asking children questions that can in any way be viewed as lurid or sexual in origin.

My haters will say that I am against love and against equality — the usual angry sh*t — but I am all about love and equality, but only when it’s put forth with sincerity and no child is exploited for the sake of a buck and the whims of pushy stage parents.

Hey — if you want really funny answers about touchy and sensational stuff – go ask old people in a nursing home.  You’ll get funnier and more diverse answers — and you will eliminate the creepy factor.

I think this was a FAIL on the part of Jimmy Kimmel Live show.  Also, you will kindly note that the ET video I attached to this article is very carefully edited from the actual video which you can find anywhere.  How many feet of video did they need to get these funny answers?   What kinds of questions did they really ask?

Anyway — it’s easy to comment on The Damien Zone — I don’t check anything — except for viruses.  There is no hassle to comment – no email verification — but I have to see your comment to approve it.  I will approve it almost always — even if you hate me to pieces and say the most vile things..  Rest assured — if you comment – it will appear — just keep checking.  I try to approve all comments within 4 hours.   Sometimes I see it instantly.